As we head out of this pandemic, I have been doing a bit of self-reflecting and trying to work out what really matters.
With restrictions lifting across the UK, there is this pressure to be up and ready and get back into the real world. It has been a tough year for all of us and even as I sit and write this on a Sunday morning, it just feels like there is so much happening around us everyday. I have to be honest with myself. I haven’t felt like myself in a long time. During this pandemic, I became a mother. A completely different person to the one who went into the pandemic and it threw me a curve ball.
Becoming a mum is never an easy process and doing it during the pandemic, with little to no celebration, meant I just didn’t get time to process it. I didn’t get the chance to feel like a mum. I just took on a whole new role in my life and then soldiered on with because I had to. Whilst that was an very isolating experience, it was something that made me stronger in ways that I didn’t know I could be. It also taught me about mental health.
Mental health is not something I have talked about or even discussed on my channels. I know that mental health effects a lot of people, a lot of people in my life actually, but I never thought it would effect me. I naively thought that I knew how to deal with my emotions and even compartmentalize them. In fact, I realised the harsh reality that I had been burying them instead. Moving onto the next thing and not really processing it. However with the hours of isolation that the pandemic bought, I had to face up to them and deal with them. It has meant that now I am slightly afraid to get out there and get back to socialising and getting on with it.
Why am I talking about all of this? It has made me realise why I have been avoiding blogging because even that hasn’t felt right to me. I should be able to talk to you guys about mental health and these issues that I am going through. So if you don’t see me going to afternoon teas back to back and meeting lots of people immediately, don’t lose faith. It is going to take me time to get back to my new normal. Whatever that normal is. I might not be jumping on tube trains early on a Saturday morning to go on blogger shoots but I am going to try and talk about the things that matter to me.
My message is to take it all slow and take it at your own pace. I am in no way a role model but at the same time, I just want to impart some wisdom someone else gave me. It is ok not to be ok. I am not ok, I haven’t been ok for a while but I am figuring it out, just like all of you. At the moment, motherhood and working from home and keeping those two worlds in sync is where my focus lies. I will still be posting daily on my instagram which is my creative outlet but taking my time to get back to the blog.
Let me know your thoughts, are you ok? How are you managing getting back after the pandemic?