Turning a year older is never easy but as i get closer to the big 30, the more anxious i feel. Did i do enough in my 20s? Did i make the difference i wanted to make? Could i have done more?
I am one of those of people who are constantly on the move, constantly trying to achieve my own personal goals and i always feel as though i am running after them. I was bought up in a time where feminism very much ruled the world, the time where Girl Power was shouted from the rooftops and i was lead to think that i could do whatever i wanted. However as i grew up i realised that life is not as easy as that, life has limitations and costs attached to it and sometimes you have to give up some of your dreams to gain others and maintain relationships. I am not as restless as i was when i turned 20 and i am not as fragmented in the way i felt turning 20. Maturity has taught me to be more understanding and be able to give things up when it means that i will end up hurting others because of achieving it. The questions – should have? could have? would have? – have all become just that questions. I got to a point where i stopped looking back and started to look forward all the time. No regrets.
I don’t know what turning 30 will bring for me and for once i am not as anxious expecting it. I hope that it will be a new chapter in my life and i will be less scared to embrace it next year.
So what do i want to achieve before i turn 30, here are just a few things:
- Stop FAD diets and feeling guilty about eating the things i want – exercise more and enjoy eating
- See turning 30 as something positive and a new adventure
- Travel for the sake of travelling
- Dance like no one is watching
- Own my own house
- Finally start on that novel…
I am sure that i will end up having lots more in the coming months but this is to get me started.
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